Yes, the sacred character of marriage has been lost. It’s not just in divorce that tells us that something is “missing”. Somewhere, somehow, we humans have lost the instruction manual to what marriage really is. We have become to scientific, liberal or to self centered to understand the basic concept of what marriage really is. Marriage has become more about the courtship and the ceremony, the pomp and circumstance, if you will that it is no longer something that we think about before approaching or think about before leaving.

Marriage is not something that can be pushed on an individual because of family, it is not something to just do because you are bored or because you think you may loose that person. It is a life changing, life encompassing journey that should be the most important decision of your life. Most people now put more research and thought into buying a new car then into entering marriage. What a frightening thought isn’t it? That a person can just “get a divorce” and get it over with if things aren’t going their way. Sad really.

What happened to our focus on family and marriage? The lines were smudged up and we started straying from life’s manual, the Bible, to make room for every possible reason to do whatever we want to do, whenever we want to do. We’ve become the spoiled little children sitting on the rotten egg chute in the candy factory. And so we slip down in the stench of our garbage disposal and pray the furnace isn’t lit that day. I joke to friends that I blame Walt Disney. Please take this lightly. But you see every little girl sees Cinderella whisked from her harsh life of scrubbing floors to marrying Prince Charming and living happily ever after. They see Sleeping Beauty rescued by Prince Charming and living happily ever after and so on. One point, do you ever notice that Prince Charming stays the same but the girls change? Anyway, every little girl grows up to want that fairy tale wedding, to be whisked off to their castle, but fails to realize that happily-ever-after means work, patience and following the rules. Marriage is hard, it is supposed to be hard. If it was easy then what would be the point? Yes, you and Prince Charming are going to have fights. Yes, he may sit in his underwear watching the college football game in the living room not looking so princely often. So our little princesses stomp off and start crying “DIVORCE”. On the other hand, Prince Charming sees a new princess to rescue and we all know how that temptation creeps in and there we go, divorce again.

The other point is this; media. I know, it’s an old scapegoat, but it’s so true. What catches our eye, who is cheating on who, who is leaving who. Those are the top gossip lines today. What celebrity couple is messed up now. I feel bad for these couples. What makes me even more angry is when the media trashes couples who commit to a traditional value system, where the woman enjoys being the wife to her husband, whether she is working or not.

Marriage is and always will be forever. You are fooling yourself if you think it’s not. Marriage is a holy vow of one’s entire self to another, a man and a woman, together to create a family bond. Society hinges on that family bond. When you have the sanctity of marriage treated like a piece of paper, society tends to crumble, no order, no structure, no values. Our children show those values, no order, no structure, no safe haven to return to. It boils down to commitment. We say our vows, and then forget them the next day. All that is cared for is what guests are sitting with who and are the flowers here on time. When we take those vows, To love and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, to love, honor and obey. We should really listen to what we are saying. Have you done your homework on the person you plan on marrying? You would get research done on a used car. I know that sounds cold, but too many times we jump and choose to keep our eyes closed. But the fact is that life is cold at times. Date long past the twitter-patted time period. Go through some seriousness in your relationship before running to the alter. And now days, get background checks. Make sure that when those vows are said, you can honestly and truly mean them.

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