The words “perfect wife” tends to bring chills up the spines of today’s women. It entails a mental picture of June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver or Ma Ingles from Little House on the Prairie. These images are not real nor are they healthy, but there is a way to be a ‘perfect wife‘. The perfect wife is filled with human emotions, not robotic personalities that tuck away daily pain and emotion. The trick is to use our human nature in a positive way. The perfect wife does not need to be a stay-at-home mom. She can work outside of the home. However, she should always remember that home is the top priority. To keep the work distractions at work and make sure we stay the strong helpmate to our husbands and to our family.

If a woman is strong-willed, she must learn to use her strengths to strengthen her husband, not to demean him. She must be aware of her personality so as not to emasculate her mate. There is nothing wrong with being strong-willed, it just takes a little more effort to make sure that we are not using our nature for the “dark side”.

One thing I hear most from men is that their wives nag. The only thing nagging will do is build a brick wall up between the wife and the husband. We all do it, we tune out repetitive messages that we just truthfully don’t want to hear, or are sick about hearing. So when you ladies decide nagging is your last resort. It’s not and it should never be any step in the relationship. Try using a positive aspect to getting something done. Instead of saying “take out the trash” 50 times. Bag up the trash yourself, set it on the doorstep and simply bring his attention that you could use his help. Using simple flattery will get more of a response the drawn out complaining and henpecking. When your husband states that he will do something, trust that he will. When you constantly ask about it or check up on him, you are treating him like a child. He is a grown man. This is the man that YOU choose to be your soul-mate, your protector, your man. Don’t turn him into a child and remove his manhood just over a bag of trash.

The other thing I’ve noticed a lot of lately. Wives who berate their husband in public. It seems to be the trend to put our dirty laundry up for all to see, perhaps this is the Jerry Springer age. But women who do this, not only damage their husband in the public eye, but damage themselves. Let me give you an example. Every other Friday my husband of 23 years and I go out to dinner. Nothing fancy usually to the local Ponderosa. But it’s our time to focus on each other. I take the time to always look nice for him when we go. Not just for my own self confidence but to reflect on him as well. One Friday we went out and were seated next to a very nicely dressed man and his wife. She was very unkempt, pretty face , but slouching in clothes and appearance. As my husband & I returned from the buffet line. She insisted on using every swear word in the book at her husband in subjects ranging from the “lowliness” of the restaurant choice to his job to her, we’ll just say “emotional” needs. It was, to me, an embarrassment to all women. I didn’t say anything and did just the opposite as I would anyway. Complimenting my husband on his shirt, his choice of our usual diner, asking him how his day at work was. When our noisy neighbor friend got from her seat. Her husband leaned over to my husband and stated; “You have no idea, how lucky you are to have such a perfect wife.” He didn’t know me or my husband. But it was our behavior in public that painted that picture of a “perfect wife”. I felt like the Queen of Sheba, the rest of the night. So ladies, you are not doing anything more then creating your own picture with your behavior.

Another little trick. Cook dinner! Something so simple that has been replaced with a call to the local pizza shop or a quick drive through at McD’s. It doesn’t have to be fancy or a four course meal. But the fact that you made the attempt to put a dinner on the table and pull the family together for that one meal a day creates a miracle in relationships. Not only between husband and wife, but also with the kids. My husband works 2nd shift a lot, so unfortunately, he doesn’t always get to eat with us. So I pack him a lunchbox for his dinner. It takes an extra 15 min to make sure he has a hearty dinner ready for him when he can take a break. This helps in more then just the relationship, but also the health of my husband and our finances. I will admit I also get a chuckle out of comments he tells me his co-workers say when they see he has a full dinner at his fingertips.

Some may say that they don’t have time for this or that their husband is capable of taking care of their own dinner. Well yes, they are. They are adults, but don’t you think that if they really wanted to take care of their own dinner, and other things, they wouldn’t have married? It is true, every man’s definition of a ‘perfect wife’ can be different. But it all boils down to one thing, respect and an undying affection for them. When you treat your husband well, you are not demeaning yourself, you are making yourself more desirable. You are showing your love and respect for him. This is how to be the perfect wife. Pure respect. By being the helpmate to your husband and being his pillar of strength instead of tearing down his strength. There is no shame in doing your husband’s laundry or cooking his breakfast. The one thing that it certainly does for those who do strive to be their husband’s helpmate is the picture they are painting of themselves. Beauty beyond compare, a woman worth treasures.

I will say that I have met with some very ’strong-willed’ women who claim that I am forcing them into a form of slavery with these type of old-fashioned beliefs. I get the spew of how feminism was the declaration of independence for women and so on and so on. But during that time, look at what we have done to our men. We have stripped them of their basic instincts, their prides. In short, we have shaved the mane from the lion and caged him. Sad picture isn’t it? No, the perfect wife grooms their husband to roar loudly, proudly and take grandeur in his strengths to lead and to protect. What harm does it do to have him kill a spider or two for us? To be the perfect wife is not an unattainable goal it’s a willingness to want to carry that aurora of beauty that can be seen for miles. Perfect? No, no one is perfect. But when you give yourself to your spouse unselfishly, it rubs out the blemishes that are there.
 

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